We already know this: One of the greatest dichotomies of game is that girls don’t actually want what they say they want. In fact, they seem to go after exactly what they say they don’t like the most. I’ve talked about this elsewhere, so no need to rehash.
The difference is TENSION. Tension general, not just sexual. Women SAY they like guys that don’t create any tension with them, and betas try to game girls by working to create as little tension as possible. Alphas create all kinds of tension with the girls, blowing them off, disagreeing with them, ignoring what the girls want and generally doing what they want. Alphas give their own opinion primacy over others’ opinions… especially girls. That tension frustrates girls… but they secretly relish it. They may even try to piss you off just so you will stand up to their whiny-ness and show she can’t affect your good mood… which turns her on a LOT.
What is tension? Tension is basically the creation of a binary (either this or that) element that forces one party to be dominant or submissive. If I called a guy a bitch, that creates tension, because either he takes it and I have upped him, or he rejects it and thus has upped me. It’s binary… there can be no middle option after I have taken that action.
Between two guys, this is good. They are able to co-operate and have a mutual ‘we are equal’ respect. But as soon as one guy starts acting more dominant, leaving the other guy hanging on a high five, or interrupting him, or touching him too roughly, tension is again created.
However, women love this tension, and it is one of the great reversals in game the enlightened player learns. As betas, we are taught to be as agreeable to women as possible, that each side should give equally in ‘mutual respect’, or the guy should give more and the girl less. Tension is created when you are expecting the girl to give you much more than you give her in return, because you are dominant. Your opinion of matters simply supercedes her opinion, without even trying. And if you can hold through that tension, to be unaffected and hold your frame as she tries to regain dominance, that polarity of dominance and submissive with make the girl want to have sex with you. Guaranteed.
Here’s a neat observation. Ever notice that guys that are good with girls tend to not be the best employees? And guys that are great yes men employees rarely get girls? That reason is tension.
Unless you are the actual boss/leader, people don’t value people who create tension in the workplace. That’s because it’s binary… unless the tension creator is going to immediately become the next boss, he must be triumphed. Of course, if you are the boss, you can create tension whereever you want; its your prerogative. The conflict of opinions and tension is often released in nervous laughter and deferrence.
The problem is… companies are just like women, except the opposite. Companies SAY they want natural leaders, but they actually prefer the beta yes men that don’t create any tension. The natural leader who has certainty, conviction, and is able to inspire others with a clear, confident vision (which is really just an opinion) has a strong tolerance for tension and can guide a ship through rough waters as a leader. But as an employee… he is extremely annoying. Nobody wants to be that guy’s boss. So instead, company’s promote the beta’s until they become leaders, but how is a man who has been deferring to others his entire life going to suddenly be able to withstand the tension leadership and strategy demand?
A person with certainty, confidence, and an ability to effortlessly withstand enormous amounts of tension makes a natural, charismatic leader. Unfortunately, his boss’s hate him. Thus it is essential for a charismatic to learn to ‘play the game’. In history, many charismatics rose to the top… but far more were executed or assassinated.
Of course, this same person will have women falling all over him, provided he doesn’t change his thinking around women. I’ve long said that the single most important thing that women are attracted to is Judgment Authority (aka opinion primacy). Having that superceding opinion, effortlessly enforced, never having to overtly assert itself, initially creates alot of tension before it is eventually accepted. But once it is (which it will be if it is done correctly), your opinion will have primacy, and you will always win, simply because you are creating all the rules. You can shoot an arrow an paint a bullseye around it. Interestingly, shit tests are a last ditch effort to challenge opinion primacy, to see if you have the ability to withstand the tension. If you can withstand it easily, your opinion reigns. If you can’t, your opinion’s primacy is subjugated, and she will never be attracted to you.
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